Halloween Drabbles
by individuall88
Summary: Title self explanatory. Clois.
1. Trick or Treat

**A/N:** These are just a group of one shot Halloween themed drabbles and Clark/Lois. They aren't related to one another. Varying ratings. Varying Seasons.

**Trick or Treat**

"We're going to Hell for this."

"Really Clark? Out of all the things you've done in your life, this is what's finally going to push you over the edge?" Lois asked. "Don't be so melodramatic."

"Point taken. But it's still immoral."

"Immoral!" Lois snorted, "It's deceptive at best! It's Halloween Smallville. A night for mischief, just think of it as getting into the holiday spirit."

"That's reaching and you know it." He replied.

"Well, you obviously must not think it's that bad or you would have deserted me before house number four." She shot back triumphantly.

"I'm only here to look out for you." He answered lamely.

Lois laughed. "Get over yourself, Clark. Admit it- you're having fun."

"Maybe a little." He gave in, "but for the record, I still think this is wrong."

"Dully noted." Lois said distractedly. "Oh! Look there's one!" She said excitedly grabbing her companion, by the wrist and hurrying across the street.

They tailgated a small group of adults and kids to the next house. Close enough so that they seemed like apart of the crowd, but far away enough so that no one in the actual group was suspicious. It was an art Lois had perfected in her teens.

Immediately after the kids received their candy from the older woman sitting on her porch, Lois and Clark made their move.

"Hi," Lois said sweetly, still holding Clark's hand. "We're so sorry to bother you, but our daughter is sick and she couldn't come out trick or treating with her brother tonight," Lois paused to look behind her and smile at a little boy dressed as Spiderman. He couldn't have been more than six and he was busy searching though his pillowcase of candy, in the middle of the stranger's walkway.

She turned back the woman holding the king sized Reese's cup. "So we're collecting some candy for her."

"Oh, how sweet!" the woman smiled plunking the candy bar into the Jack o' lantern bucket.

"Thank you so much!" Lois smiled. And Clark mimicked her, silently, grinning like an idiot.

After they were at a safe enough distance, Lois pulled the Reese's from the pail. "Tell me this isn't worth a little white lie."

Clark sighed and looked at his watch. "We still have a little time before we have to be at the Planet- one more house?"

Lois beamed up at him. "Welcome to the dark side, Mr. Kent!"

Clark smiled down at her wondering if she realized they were still holding hands.

********

**A/N: **Please Review. Thanks.


	2. Costume

**A/N: **Here's number 2

**Costumes**

"I told you Smallville, I lost a bet." Lois explained for the umpteenth time. The two unofficial partners were currently cramped in a small copy room. The Daily Planet was having a Costume Halloween party upstairs and 'Monster Mash' could be heard blaring through the paper-thin walls.

"I get that part," Clark replied, feeling ridiculous. "What I don't understand is, if _you_ lost the bet why am_ I_ paying for it?"

"You're not! Think of it more as sympathy pains." She smiled.

"Then why do I have to be the back end?" He asked, glowering.

Lois shifted her horse head from one arm to the other and smirked at him, "I thought that was obvious."

Clark glared at her. "Oh, har. Har. Har. I'm doing you a favor and you're-"

"Oh, don't get your panties in a bunch, Smallville. I was just joking. Lighten up."

"You owe me for this." He said, re-adjusting the straps of the costume on his shoulders.

"Whatever. Let's just get this over with." She said, bending over.

Clark opened his mouth to retort, but upon seeing Lois's perfectly shaped thighs and butt outlined in tight spandex, his throat went dry and he couldn't remember how to speak at the moment.

Maybe. Just this once- being the back end of a horse was actually a good thing.

********

**A/N:** You know what to do. Don't make me beg. Please and Thank you.


	3. Mischief

**A/N:** Here's number three

**Mischief**

"AHHHGGGRRRRHHHH!!"

Clark jumped up from his seat. He hadn't expected the three dozen flying rubber bats to spring out of his top drawer when he opened it. His unofficial brunette partner was too busy dissolving into a fit of giggles across from him to notice the glare he shot at her.

"It's Halloween Lois. Not April Fools Day!" He said, irritably.

"Technically it's Mischief night." She corrected, "and You screamed, therefore you were scared, thus my prank falls under Halloween/Mischief Night jurisdiction." She explained smugly, trying to hold back her laughter. "You should have seen your face. _Priceless._"

"Just remember, what goes around comes around, Lane!" He replied, ominously.

Lois brushed him off, "I'm shaking in my stilettos, Smallville." She rose from her chair. "Now if you'll excuse me I have a press conference to get to." Without a second glance she sashayed away, giggling.

Clark watched her leave, momentarily mesmerized by the sway of her hips.

_Later that day…_

Lois returned from her press conference in high spirits. "That was definitely a success," she told Clark swiping the styro foam cup from his hands.

"Lois why do you always take my coffee?"

The reporter shrugged and took a big gulp. "It just tastes better, I guess." She replied vaguely, giving him a big toothy grin. Clark did his best not to burst out laughing. But the blue dye he'd put into his cup, moments before had worked better than he'd planned. Not only her teeth, and tongue, but also her lips were stained dark navy.

Lois, unaware of her new colorful addition, set the cup down and informed her colleague that she would be right back. Which, Clark had learned, was code for 'bathroom break.'

Two minutes later, an ear splitting screech could be heard from every corner of the Daily Planet. Lois charged through the bullpen hell bent on murdering a certain 'glorified copy boy.'

"What the hell, KENT! And you lecture me on April's Fools!" She demanded her arms flailing in fury.

"Ah. Ah. Ah. Lois," Clark sat back in his chair, hands behind his head. "You screamed. Therefore you were scared-"

"_Surprised_."

Clark ignored her and continued, "Ergo, it falls under Halloween/Mischief Night jurisdiction."

Lois took a few deep breaths, her anger melting away. Why get mad when you could get even? She shook her head and sighed. "Touché Smallville. Touché."

"Thank you." He replied, feeling pretty good about himself- until a shadow fell over his face. He opened his eyes to see Lois inches away from him wearing a vampish smile. "You just forgot one little thing," she whispered.

"What's that?" He questioned, unable to look away from the mischievous glint in her hazel orbs.

"I always win." She grabbed the side of his face with her hands kissed him deeply and thoroughly. The only sound Clark made was a mumble of surprise, before he found himself kissing her back with just as much fervor.

Lois looked satisfied in more ways than one when she finally pulled her lips off of his. Her gaze was on his mouth, and Clark knew it was probably as blue as hers, but he couldn't bring himself to care. She'd kissed him. He'd kissed her back.

Halloween was quickly becoming his new favorite holiday.

********

**A/N:** You know what to do. Thanks


	4. Carving Pumpkins

**A/N:** This one would definitely be set in earlier seasons. Enjoy.

**Carving Pumpkins**

"Hmmm," Lois studied the large bulbous orange fruit infront of her. Finding the perfect pumpkin was proving to be more of a chore than she'd originally thought. The pumpkin had to be just right. Not too big, but not too small. Round, but not perfectly so, and it had to have a stem- not a nub.

"This one?" Clark asked for what seemed like the thousandth time. Praying that she would make up her mind. Spending an hour and a half at a pumpkin patch was ridiculous.

Lois shifted her weight from one leg to the other, "I'm not sure. What do you think?"

"They all look the same to me, Lois." He replied, irately.

The brunette huffed and glared at him, her hands on her hips. "The same? _The same_? Clark do you realize how important it is to get the right kind of carving pumpkin?"

"No?"

Lois rolled her eyes and lifted her eyes to the sky, "_men._"

"What?" All the anger in his tone evaporated, and he looked at her wearing a bemused frown.

He was pretty sure he heard her growl. "Fine. This one will have to do. C'mon." Clark thanked every deity he could think of as he bent down and picked up the pumpkin.

Of course, Lois would make even the simplest task a trial. When they'd first arrived he thought it would a 'get in, get out' kind of situation. Lois found the first pumpkin almost immediately- it was the second that had taken forever.

Once back at the Kent farm Lois had already set up the carving station in the barn, before they'd gone the patch that morning. Newspaper was everywhere and the knives and crayons and gut collecting bowls were all lying out on the workbench.

"Set them down here, Smallville," Lois instructed, picking up a serrated knife.

"Uh, Lois?" Clark eyed the weapon in her hand warily, "maybe I should-"

"Watch and learn farm boy," the irate brunette pushed passed him and began to expertly slice into the top of the first pumpkin. "You have to cut at an angle or the top won't fit right," she explained. Once she opened the cap, she smiled at her companion. The kind of smile, Clark recognized at the I-want-you-to-do-something-for-me' smile.

"Just spit it out, Lois."

"Smallville, I'm going to let you do the fun part. De-gutting."

"Oh, boy." Clark replied, sarcastically, "thanks."

"Don't mention it. Just make sure you save the seeds. I'll bake them later."

"Bake them? As in using an oven?" He froze mid scoop.

"Yeah. You gotta problem with that?" She crossed her arms over her chest.

"Lois, the last time you used the oven the house smelled like charred chicken for a month!"

"I'll admit, I won't exactly be training at the _Cordon Bleu_ anytime soon, but I'm not that bad!"

"Yes, you are."

Lois clucked her tongue on the roof of her mouth in annoyance. "Fine. You're so worried about it, why don't you supervise?"

"You can count on it."

Lois ignored him and chose to take out her excess annoyance on the second pumpkin, instead. Clark almost cringed, as he watched her savagely stab into the husk, knowing she was probably replacing the orange fruit with his head.

"Look Lois, I'm sorry." He said as he threaded his hands through a particularly large bunch of orange glop, doing his best to separate the seeds.

The army brat relaxed next to him, "It's OK, Smallville. I know I'm no Betty Crocker. But pumpkin seeds, are just the one thing I know I won't screw up, mom used to make them every Halloween. And when she died it was up to me to keep the tradition alive. God knows my father-" She stopped when she realized how much of her personal life she was revealing. The last thing in the world she needed was Clark Kent's pity. "Anyway, carving pumpkins has just been the one Lane family tradition I've been able to keep alive."

Clark could feel the waves of tension rolling off of his friend, so he quickly changed the subject, "I'm finished."

Lois perked up, "not bad, Smallville. Not bad." She said, inspecting the now hollow pumpkin. "OK. Now it's time for the crayon."

Clark watched with interest as Lois meticulously drew a swirling, convoluted pattern all the way around the fruit. He was even more impressed when she started carving it out. "What's it supposed to be?" He asked.

"I'm not sure," Lois, replied, "When we were little Lucy and I had- I guess you could call them stencils? Amway, mom always did this one."

"And you remember it from memory?"

"It took a lot of practice and a lot of pumpkins to perfect," she explained almost sheepishly.

"Which one was your favorite?"

"What?" Lois stopped mid slice.

"Which stencil was your favorite?" He clarified.

She thought for a moment then shrugged. "I can't remember."

"Oh," was all he could reply. He studied the blank pumpkin before him wondering what the heck he should do. Unlike the Lanes, carving pumpkins had never been a Kent family tradition. Oh, well. He'd just stick with the classics. Triangle eyes and nose and a missing teeth grin. Simple and an old fashioned favorite.

Lois snorted when she saw what he was doing, "boring and cliché- very you, Smallville."

After they were finished with their respective patterns, Clark asked, "now what?"

Lois rolled her eyes, "we put a candle inside them and turn off the lights."

"Oh, right," Clark went to find two small candles and Lois lit them with her Zippo lighter. Clark turned the lights off and he let smiled when he saw Lois's swirly pattern reflect off the walls of the barn.

"Happy Halloween, Lois."

"Happy Halloween, Smallville."

********

**A/N:** Leave me some love


	5. Horror

**A/N:** Thanks for the love everyone! Here's #5 (I'm going till I reach 13)

**Horror**

She knew it was coming. She'd been expecting it. It was obvious from the way the main character cautiously moved along the creepy hallway and how the music swelled to a climax. She'd known it was coming. And yet, when it happened, she still jumped. No scratch that. Not only did she jump she'd latched on to the nearest thing next to her-which just happened to be Clark Kents beefy bicep.

Crap.

She turned to look at her colleague, horror written all over her face .She knew her eyes must have been as round as saucers. He, on the other hand, didn't even have the common courtesy to look embarrassed. His face was a mixture of surprise and heat, a smirk flirting with his mouth.

Damn.

Lois let go of his arm as suddenly as she'd taken it. Turning her head and body toward the television set, sitting awkwardly straight and still she declared, "That did not just happen." She didn't dare look at him.

"You know, Lois if you wanted me to hold you, all you had to do was ask," she could hear the smile in his voice.

"Watch it, Kent." She warned. But there was no harshness in her tone. In fact, she sounded a bit apprehensive and unsure. Stupid nerves.

"Really, it's no trouble," he insisted, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her flush against his solid frame. Lois, not willing to let him win so easily, struggled half-heartedly against his grip.

"Don't worry, Lois." He whispered into her hair. She shivered because his breath was hot on her skin and his lips barely grazed her ear lobe. "I won't let the monsters get you."

She relaxed into him, but her voice was tight when she said, "I swear to God Smallville. If you tell anyone about this-"

"I know. I know. Elmer Fudd nightlight."

"No." She corrected glaring up at him from beneath a fringe of dark lashes, "death. Slow painful torturous- _death_!"

"Wow." He observed, "You really are scared." He put slightly more pressure onto her shoulder and she moved so that her body was tucked more snugly into his side.

"Shut up, Smallville," she growled.

********

**A/N:** Comments are always appreciated! Thanks!


	6. Things That Go Bump

**Things That Go Bump**

"Lois?"

"Er…Hey Smallville."

"Lois it's almost one o'clock in the morning! Is everything all right?"

"Well, yes- and no."

"What's wrong?"

"It's-it's the new fridge Chloe and I bought- it makes weird noises."

"Weird noises?"

"I think it's haunted or something."

"Lois-"

"I'm serious Clark!"

"What kind of noises?"

"Like- humming and then I hear this big _bump_! _Bump!_ _Rrrrrrr! Eeeeaaakkkkk!"_

"Lois-"

"I swear there's a little man living in the ice maker!"

"Where's Chloe?"

"Working. She practically lives at that watchtower, place- I'm still not quite sure what her job is-"

"Well, do you want to stay at the f-"

"Thanks, Smallville you're a life saver! I'll be over in ten!"

_Click. _

"-arm tonight."

********

**A/N:** Eh- you know the drill.

.


	7. It's The Great Pumpkin, Clark Kent!

**It's The Great Pumpkin, Clark Kent! **

"How can you say that?" Lois cocked a questionable eyebrow at her boyfriend.

"What do you mean? I can totally see you as Sally and me as Linus!"

The brunette scoffed. "If anything, you're Charlie Brown and I'm Lucy!"

Clark considered the comparison for a moment. "Maybe five years ago," he admitted, "but it's different now. I don't think you'd pull the football out from under me, anymore."

"Don't be so sure," Lois warned. "I can't believe you're comparing me to a pining lovesick kid! Is that how you see me? Because I've got news for you Clark Kent-!"

"No!" Clark back-peddled, "Of course not! Lois, Sally isn't a lovesick, kid. She's feisty, she's got a little fire, and she stands up for herself. But she also stands by her man, even when he's standing in a pumpkin patch waiting for a mythological creature to appear." Clark smiled and wrapped his arm around Lois.

"Well, I do stand by my man," she finally conceded.

"And your man appreciated that," Clark kissed her temple.

Lois rolled her eyes, "you blockhead!"

********

**A/N: **Please Review! Thanks!


	8. Monster Mash

**A/N: **Thanks everyone for the wonderful feedback! This next one is a text messaging conversation, just thought I'd let you know so there wasn't any confusion. Enjoy.

**Monster Mash**

**Lane to Kent:** _What are you doing?_

**Kent to Lane:** _Working._

**Lane to Kent:** _Still?_

**Kent to Lane:** _Unlike some people I actually pay attention to deadlines_

**Lane to Kent**_**:**__ Deadlines are overrated. This party sucks. Frankenstein keeps giving me the eye_

**Kent to Lane:** _Where are you?_

**Lane to Kent**_**:**__ AoC_

**Kent to Lane:** _I can be there in fifteen minutes_

**Lane to Kent:** _What about your deadline?_

**Kent to Lane:** _Beautiful brunette sources tell me they're overrated_

**Lane to Kent:** _Don't pull that Kent charm with me, Smallville_

**Kent to Lane:** _Just trying to score brownie points for that second date_

**Lane to Kent: **_Try harder_

**Kent to Lane:** _Ouch. My pride_

**Lane to Kent:** _I don't buy the wounded puppy dog shtick, either_

**Kent to Lane:** _We'll see about that. I'm leaving right now_

**Lane to Kent:** _Oh, God. He's sending me drinks now!_

**Kent to Lane:** _Who?_

**Lane to Kent:** _Frankenstein. Ew. It's fruity and pink! I cannot be held responsible for my actions if he tries to talk to me._

**Kent to Lane: **_Please don't do anything violent. I really don't wanna bail you out of jail tonight._

**Lane to Kent**_**:**__ I make no promises_

_********_

**A/N:** Please leave a review after the tone. Thanks. *BEEEEEP!*


	9. Wicked

**Wicked**

"Lois why can't I just wear my old Zorro costume?"

Lois rolled her eyes at him, "because Smallville, it's falling apart! Plus, it's time for you to branch out, anyway."

"You could just patch it up-"

"Do I look like your own personal seamstress?"

Clark sighed heavily and gave in. "Fine. Then what do you suggest?"

Lois got that wicked gleam in her eyes. The wicked gleam that was usually followed by some half-baked scheme that put them both into potentially humiliating and often times, dangerous situations. Or put_ just _him in humiliating, potentially dangerous situations.

"I was thinking about-" Lois sorted though the costume racks until she found what she was looking for, "this!"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Where would you like me to start?" He asked dryly, giving the elf costume a sour look. "First of all, I don't do tights," he declared, "and while we're on the subject, I don't do lycra or spandex either."

"Have I ever told you I find elves extremely sexy?"

Clark gulped, but stuck to his guns, "Give it a rest, Lois."

The brunette sighed, "Fine. But you are no fu- AHA!"

"Aha what?" Clark questioned cautiously. Lois grabbed his hand and pulled him to another aisle. "This is perfect!"

"Farmer John?"

"Look! He comes with his very own pitch fork!" Lois beamed up at him.

"Next."

"You are so difficult!"

"_Me?" _He threw up his hands in exasperation. "You're the one-"

Lois cut him off. "How about a Gladiator? No tights. No pitchforks."

"He's wearing a skirt."

"It's not a skirt," Lois defended, "it's a manly, armored kilt- thing."

Clark crossed his arms over his chest, and cocked his eyebrow.

Lois sighed heavily. "Fine- Oh!"

_Now what?_ Clark thought, reluctantly following the intrepid reporter to yet another, wrack of ridiculous costumes. If she wasn't so damn gorgeous and sexy and amazing and-

"Here," She thrust something into his hands.

"A towel?"

"It's a loin cloth," she smiled vampishly then added, "Tarzan."

"I won't wear tights, what makes you think I'll wear this?" He asked, holding up the skimpy piece of material between his thumb and forefinger.

"C'mon, Smallville think of all the multiple uses that could have." She said suggestively, looking up at him through her eyelashes.

Clark was about to give in, when something caught his attention. It was time for a little game of pay back. "All right." He started, smirking. "I'll be Tarzan if you go as- _Jane_."

Lois followed his gaze to the two pieces of flimsy leopard print clothing hanging next to the matching loincloth.

She considered his challenge for a moment, "OK." She finally said grabbing the garment off the hanger and taking the loincloth from Clark's grasp.

"That's what I thought you'd-" he paused her words finally sinking in, "I'm sorry?" His voice cracked like an adolescent.

"I said, OK." Lois grinned. "Me Jane. You Tarzan." She walked away headed toward the check out.

"Lois?" Clark called after her, "Lois I didn't mean it! I was joking! Lois! I'm not paying for that! Lois?" Instinctively his hand went to his back pocket to check for his wallet. It was gone.

"You took my wallet! LOIS!"

********

**A/N:** Please Review. Thanks


	10. Witches' Brew

**A/N:** Well, it's that time of year again! So I thought I'd add more drabbles! Here's the long awaited #10

**Witches' Brew**

"Lois? What is in that?"

"It's a Lane family secret."

Clark eyed his girlfriend and the concoction she was making warily.

"Are those gummy eyeballs?"

"Yes!" Lois proudly plucked one up and squished it in his face. "I think it adds a nice creepy touch, don't you?"

Clark grimaced and dipped his head to take a whiff of the crimson liquid floating in his mother's crystal punch bowl, then immediately regretted it. He was pretty sure he was immune to almost all forms of alcohol, except for maybe whatever the hell this was!

"You're not seriously considering serving that at the party, are you?" People would be passed out or wasted before nine o'clock! Oh, Oliver and Chloe were seriously going to regret letting Lois take care of the refreshments for this party.

"Of course, I'm going to serve it!" Lois told him, dipping a ladle into the punch and taking a large sip. "It still needs more vodka," she decided, adding a healthy dose of the clear substance into the mix using a large wooden spoon to stir. "It wouldn't be Halloween without my infamous Witches' Brew!"

"Just don't let anyone light a match near it, all right." Clark said.

"Hey!" Lois defended. "This is no ordinary alcoholic beverage show a little respect!"

"What do you mean?" Clark asked.

"I mean it's not called _Witches' Brew,_ for nothing," Lois retorted, winking.

"You're saying that you actually think this- _punch_ has special powers?" Clark asked, raising one eyebrow at the brunette.

Lois didn't say anything; if he didn't believe her she would just have to show him! Grabbing a plastic cup from table, Lois dipped it into the bowl and took long swig.

Clark opened his mouth to lecture her on not getting drunk before the party, but she cut him off by grabbing his tie and yanking him down so she could take his lips with hers. Clark instantly surrendered, his hands groping up her arms and gripping her shoulders pulling her closer. Her breath was heavy with the sharp, but not overly sweet taste of alcohol. It was-delicious, intoxicating- he wanted more. He slipped his tongue into her mouth and groaned with pleasure.

When they finally broke apart, Lois was smirking.

"Do you believe me, now?" She asked, triumphantly.

"No, that didn't prove anything," Clark answered, "because you already put me under a spell a long time ago, Lois Lane."

**A/N:** A little fluffy I know- but I'm kid of in a fluffy Clois mood, you know. Let me know what you think! Thanks!


	11. Superstitious

**A/N:** Thanks! And here is #11

**Superstitious**

"Isn't she cute?"

"Lois, she's a black cat."

"So?"

"Aren't you allergic?'

"It's called allergy shots. Plus, if I can stand Shelby I can stand this little cutie!"

"You're kind of scaring me."

"Why?"

"A black cat just mysteriously shows up at your door this close to Halloween-"

"Wow, Smallville I didn't know you were so superstitious."

"I'm not. It's just I've met you before and I don't think you need add to your already abundant supply of bad luck. You get yourself into enough trouble as it is."

"What if I promise, to counter balance the bad spirits by facing north while hopping on one foot and throwing salt over my left shoulder every morning?"

"Ha. Ha. Ha."

"Also, I swear no more walking under ladders for this reporter-"

"You're not going to let this go are you?"

"And I guess I'll to stop the seven year annual mirror breaking tradition, it's been in my family for years, but for you Clark, I'll gladly make that sacrifice-"

"I'm leaving."

"Don't forget your umbrella, it's raining."

"Yes, dear."

"Just remember not to open it inside the house!"

_SLAM_

**A/N:** I always appreciate feedback! Please and Thank you! _  
_


	12. All Hallows Eve

**A/N:** #12 I couldn't really think of a good title for this peace..Sorry.

**All-Hollow's Eve**

Clark entered the room carrying a large glass jar filled with coins.

"What's that for?" Lois asked, eying the container dubiously.

"I thought this year instead of candy we'd give out-"

"Nickels?" Lois finished, as she strained her eyes to see exactly what was in the receptacle. "Are you on drugs?"

"No!" Clark stated, defiantly. "And for your information it's not only nickels, I'm also giving out dimes- but only to the kids with really creative costumes."

"Oh, my God," Lois replied, unable to believe her own ears, "do you know what happens to people who don't give out candy on Halloween?"

"No. But I'm sure your going to tell me," Clark answered.

"It's not called Trick _or_ Treat for nothing, Smallville!"

Clark gave her a blank look and Lois rolled her eyes.

"They vandalize your house," Lois told him, "T.P., eggs, flour- the works! Oh! And don't think they'll stop there, either. There's this really great trick you can do to someone's car, all you need is saran wrap and-"

"It sounds like you've had a lot of experience with this sort of thing," Clark observed.

"Let's just say I've never claimed to be an angel," The natural brunette replied, grinning mischievously.

"Well, I think you're being ridiculous. No one is going to egg the house, Lois," Clark gave her look and placed the jar by the bowl of candy the army brat had already prepared a few minutes ago.

"Smallville, let me explain something to you," Lois began, as though she were talking to a slow child. "Kids don't want nickels and dimes for Halloween- they want something sweet or sour or chewy or dipped in chocolate that rots their baby teeth!"

"We'll see," Clark retorted confidently.

"Fine, but I'm not helping you clean up the mess tomorrow." Lois said, snatching her candy and heading upstairs.

"There won't be any mess to clean up!" Clark called after her.

The next morning Clark woke up late. Which was weird because usually the sun peeking in through the window in the living room usually got him up around five or six. Stretching and opening his eyes, Clark groggily rose from the couch and stumbled over to open the drapes-

"Oh my God!" He made a beeline for the front door.

Not only the house, but the barn too was completely blanketed in toilet paper and egg yolk. He turned around to see his car with a nice thick layer of flour on the windshield. Well, at least that wasn't to bad-

"Don't even think about trying to wash that off," Lois's voice startled him and he turned to see her smug face. "I told you-!"

"Don't say it!" He held up hand to stop her. Then growled and ran his fingers through his hair. With Lois watching, it would take all day to clean up this mess.

"You better get a move on, Smallville," Lois said like she could read his thoughts, "Your mom just called- she and your dad are cutting their trip short. They should be back in a few hours."

**A/N:** Thanks for reading!


	13. The Hay Bale Ride

**A/N:** Lucky #13!

**The Hay Bale Ride**

"You're joking, right?"

"Nope."

"Seriously?"

"Yes, Lo-is!"

The brunette put her hands on her hip and eyed the man in front of her with naked skepticism. "You honestly expect me to believe that people _willingly_ pile on top of one of those things, sit on a damp, itchy straw rectangle and ride around a cornfield_- for fun_?"

The little patience Clark had was rapidly diminishing with each passing second. "Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying!"

"Really?"

"Lois!"

"What? You don't think that's- weird?"

"It's fun."

"We have two very different definitions of _fun_," Lois muttered and Clark shot her a dark look.

"You get hot chocolate," the farm boy supplied and Lois perked up a bit.

"Extra marshmallows?"

"You can have mine," she would've taken them anyway.

"What about food?"

The corners of Clark's lips flickered upward, "Cookies."

"What kind?"

"The Halloween kind!"

He told himself to count to ten- then started over when that didn't work.

"So, we're going to look at a bunch of corn for twenty minutes?" Lois screwed up her face in disapproval.

"No." Clark answered, folding his arms across his chest. "It's a haunted hay bale ride. They're doing a _Children of The Corn_ theme this year."

The army brat snorted, unimpressed, "How original."

Clark growled. "Look, if you don't want to go I can-"

"Oh, un-bunch your panties, Smallville," Lois rolled her eyes, "I told Chloe I'd help you do this piece for The Torch. And a Lane never goes back on her word, so let's just get this over with, OK?"

"Sounds good to me."

The duo exited Clark's truck and marched up to the tractor pull. It was the last ride of the night.

"Sorry, Folks," an older gentleman wearing blue jean overalls stained with fake blood, over a torn plaid shirt put up his hands to stop the two reluctant partners from boarding.

"What's the problem?" Lois asked, annoyed.

"We're all filled up," the older gentleman replied, sympathetically gesturing to the all ready overly crowded trailer. "There's only one seat left and-"

"Oh, gee," Clark chimed in, "that's too bad, Lois."

"If you think you're leaving me to shiver all alone in the middle of the 4-H capital of the world Clark Kent, you've got another thing coming!"

"It'll take twenty minutes-"

"Then you have to fork over the car keys," Lois retorted, daring him with her eyes.

"So you can strand me here?" Clark's expression clearly stating, do I look that gullible?

"I wouldn't do that," Lois replied, too sweetly, answering his unspoken question with, do you really want me to answer that?

"Fine," Clark sighed heavily, "you go and I'll stay-"

"Oh, for the love of God!" Lois cut him off and whirled around back to the driver and pinned him with a determined glare. "What if I sat on his lap?"

"What?" Both the old man and Clark said in unison.

Lois resisted the urge to bang her head against the side of the tractor, "What if I sat on his lap?" She repeated slowly emphasizing each word and the driver looked at Clark who's mouth kept opening and closing like he wanted to say something, but was having trouble locating his voice.

"I guess that would be OK," the older man replied hesitantly. And that was all the confirmation Lois needed. She grabbed Clark by the sleeve and hauled him up into the back of trailer.

"Sit," she commanded, and Clark automatically obeyed not knowing what else to do, but follow Commander Lane's orders-

Lois eased herself into his lap and curled her arms around his neck, snuggling in closer. Clark cleared his throat uncomfortably and tried to put as much space between his body and Lois's.

But the brunette couldn't pass up the chance to exploit her friend's obvious embarrassment. "Is that a corn cob in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?" She whispered to him.

"Lois!" Clark reared back, almost bucking her off his lap and she giggled as the deep blush on his neck spread to his face.

"You are too easy, Smallville."

He glowered at her. "Just remember, Lane. What goes around comes around."

Lois scoffed, "Please, Smallville I've already seen Clark Jr. And trust me getting an encore of that little show isn't going to offend my delicate feminine sensibilities." The cookie tray was being passed around and Lois grabbed two off the plate.

"That's not what I was talking about-"

"Shh, just sit back, relax, and," Lois shoved the store bought pastry into his mouth, "eat a cookie."

Clark bit into the stale haystack cookie and tried to do what Lois had suggested. She was just a girl after all. An overbearing, bossy, obstinate, rude-

"You know, one day your face is just going to get stuck like that," and not to mention she had this annoying psychic ability, as well.

"So," another voice coming from across the aisle interrupted the regularly scheduled Lois and Clark banter that was about to begin. "How long have you two been dating?"

Lois gave the clearly misguided woman, a horrified look, "Who? Me and Smallville? Oh, no we're-"

"On our first date."

Now, Lois wasn't sure, but that deep, adolescent voice sounded distinctly like Clark Kent's- except that was impossible because words that had just been spoken would never come out of Clark Kent's mouth- ever.

Lois turned to the soon to be dead farmboy and inhaled deeply, ready to rip him a new one, but Clark snaked his arms around her middle and pulled her closer to him. "She's been avoiding me for weeks," he told the now smiling stranger as Lois fumed in his lap. "But I finally got her to say yes!" He finished, smiling too brightly.

"Now wait just a minute!"

"She has intimacy issues," Clark said quietly and Lois punched him in the shoulder.

"_Smallville_!"

"It's nothing to be ashamed of, Lois," she wanted to smack that smile right off of his smug face. Fine if he wanted to play dirty. She could play dirty.

"You are so right, _poodle_."

And Clark's eyebrows twitched, what was she up to? But Lois had already swung back around.

"I tell him all the time that just because a guy his age has to take Viagra-"

"Let's not tell the nice stranger all of our secrets," Clark growled and tightened his grip around her middle.

The woman laughed, seemingly unfazed by Lois and Clark's strange behavior. "You two have that whole Hepburn and Tracey thing, down!"

"Hepburn and Tracey?" Lois questioned.

"Yeah," the woman explained, "bantering, sparring, squabbling like an old married couple- but underneath all that, I can see you two really care about each other."

Boy, did this woman need to get her eyesight checked! Lois thought and was just about to open her mouth and voice said opinion when the tractor hit a large bump and Lois went crashing back into Clark's chest, her knees sliding across his thighs and halfway onto the person sitting next to them.

Lois sheepishly, curled her legs into her chest and mumbled an apology to her neighbor. Then suddenly, the reality that she was coiled up in Clark's lap- hit her full force. His arms accommodated to her new position- one hand curved around her back the other across her calves- she stared up at him, petrified. She could feel his heart beating as irregularly as hers was. The hand on her legs moved and smoothed away a stray tendril of hair that had fallen across her left eye.

"Lois-"

But the brunette didn't let him finish that statement. She immediately unfolded herself and scrambled to sit up placing her body on the edge of his knee, not touching him.

The next day Lois and Clark entered The Torch before school so that Chloe could run their article for the paper that day.

"So?" The blond asked, cheerfully, "was it scary?"

Lois cleared her throat and Clark shifted his weight uncomfortably. Both looking everywhere but at each other and Chloe.

"Guys?"

"It was-"

"Terrifying."


	14. Bobbing For Apples

**A/N:** #14 Please enjoy!

**Bobbing For Apples**

Lois stared warily at the basin, half a dozen Granny Smith apples bobbed and danced tauntingly in the stagnant tap water. Almost mocking her.

"What's the problem?" Clark asked, coming up behind her.

"Nothing." The brunette worried her bottom lips, "it's just the last time I stuck my head in a bucket of water it wasn't exactly enjoyable."

Clark grimaced and put his hand on her shoulder. "What if I go first?"

"Are you sure we even have to do this?"

"It's tradition."

"I don't know, any tradition that states you have to immerse your head in ice water for an apple-"

"Lois, quit stalling." Clark kneeled down by the bucket. "It's easy."

"I never said it was difficult," the reporter mumbled, irritably.

Clark ignored her, "nothing is going to happen to you. I promise. Watch." And with that the superhero dipped down and submerged his entire head into the large bowl. Lois momentarily wondered how long he could hold his breath before he splashed back up a few seconds later, an apple firmly between his teeth.

He was soaked through. The entire front of him was completely drenched and Lois let her eyes roam his body for a moment.

Her partner gestured to the bucket, indicating it was her turn to try, but Lois scrunched up her nose.

"I don't think so," she said, "this is a new top. And I've got to go follow up on lead." She plucked the fruit from between her boyfriend's jaws. "Thanks, Smallville." Smiling and taking a healthy bite, Lois turned and walked away, swaying her hips more than necessary.

Clark sighed and grabbed for a towel.

Yep. He'd literally, fallen right into that one.


End file.
